Siaran Tergendala

Nahhh.. not talking about no signal or no wireless actually. It's just that i've come to a state where i need to slow down about thinking and planning for MY big day coz i think the BF is still not ready yet. I'm not sure what is he not ready about. Coz he didnt say anything. probably not ready financially and mentally. And this makes me turned off and.. i suddenly find myself at the stage of Not being ready for the next step in this relationship. YES! I got influenced by him, got influenced by his immature, got influenced by his negativeness *sigh*

Now i am very sure if he propose to me tomorrow, my answer will be No... coz the feeling of getting married SHUT OFF just like that.

I hate the fact that i was the only one yang really into all these. I was the only one worry about what to wear, where shall the receptions be, when shall it take place, when's the best month to get married. I was the only one buying this and that. i was the one being stressful thinking and worrying. Like HELLO, you dont want to have the "bersanding" at my house FOR GOD KNOWS WHY, and you want it to be at some Hotels or Dewans like as if im marrying Anak Menteri and I dont have to pay for even a penny when it's actually NOT...But do u realise that nowadays, Dewans and Hotels are being booked like a Year earlier...and most are already fully booked.

C'mon, For god sake, Dont keep Saying NEXT YEAR or SOON if you YOURSELF are NOT SURE or NOT READY. Dont give me False Hope! And if you seriously want to get married, make an effort. im NOT saying we have to get married in a month time.. BUT Show how serious you are. Make an effort.. ani Ckp Kosong saja banyak. Fedup dah like this. Bila di tagur, marah, menyamal, merajuk..tapi inda mau faham2. What are you thinking actually?? why cant you just let it out? if you cant talk to me over the phone, you can always email me. BUT be firm with what you wanna say. Jangan ckp something just to pujuk me, But then NO ACTION AT ALL. Bosan lahhhh!!!


I'm just pissed off.....

I'll be back Soon....